Saturday, September 25, 2010

Hitch a ride on the back of a butterfly

SOOOO. hi.

Life has been getting better. I've been sounding really depressed lately, and that's because there has been a whole bunch of stuff in my life, that I'd rather not elaborate on right now (if its killing you not to know, then text me or hit me up on skype). But let it be said, I'm feeling better. Life has "smoothed out" I guess you could say?

I'm feeling really chill right now. I'm jamming out to one of my favorite train songs (Get to me) while drinking Jones cream soda and writing this. *sigh* Life is good.

Don't you love when the night is full of electricity? It's almost as if you won't be able to get to sleep if you open your windows because of all the excitement in the air. It happens especially when the night is a blueish-indigo with clouds illuminated by the moon with the stars as a backdrop. You can feel everything buzzing with possibility and just life.

I don't know. The past few nights have been like that. What I really want to do is take the baby taylor (guitar), drive to one of the abandoned turn offs on loudoun county parkway, and just sit on the hood and sing. I could sing as loud as I want because I wouldn't disturb anyone with my horrible vocal sounds. :)

But, I like how peaceful that sounds. My dream car is a VW bus, and preferably one with a pop up top. Reason being: my dad lived in Wyoming for a bit of his life (he kind of lived everywhere) but he would drive out into yellowstone or something and would be in a field surrounded by buffalo just playing on his guitar.


I would go do it now...but I can't. Its past my curfew :P

I keep thinking I'm sleepy, until I look outside. Or put my head out. Then that 'energy force' flows right back in. The stars really are beautiful. That's another I like to do while lying on the hood of my car: look at the stars. They are so constant and hold so many connotations. You can never get tired of them.

One day they might twinkle with romance, or be alight with the promise of a new day, or be the friends that have always been there for you. Like thunderstorms.

My dad and I, when we lived in Spring Green, we used to sit out on the back porch and watch the thunder roll in. I was almost five and I loved watch the lightning sear a mark in the sky. It was so magical. We would sit there in silence and watch nature do its thing.

Years later, when I was in seventh and eighth grade, I lived overseas. We had two seasons: rainy and dry. During the rainy season I would go out onto our porch, this time by myself, and watch the rain and lightning. What was so amazing was that it was hot and the raindrops were warm. You could almost feel their presence without touching them. Almost as if they were delicate glass tears that would shatter if you even thought about touching them. And I cannot even begin to describe the thunder. It was simply breathtaking.

Well, that's all I have for today. It's not much, just me ranting about nonimportant things. I just love these nights.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Midas is King and he holds me so tight

Oh goodness.

Crazy couple of weeks. And let me just say now, that if you are reading this I'm sorry if I freaked you out at all. Don't worry because it's really nothing. And I would love to get at text from you at some point. But no worries.


Senior year. It's insane. I don't really know why. Okay, so I do know why. I just don't want to admit it. I really don't get along with many people in school. And I'll just leave it there.

I get so many crazy things running through my head that I can't keep track of them all. I promise that I had a purpose when I started writing!! I just can't seem to remember.

So, I'll ramble.

It's been a reallllllly long day. Started out w/ seminary (which was funny), then I went to school and sat on the stage. I love to do that, just sit on an empty dark stage. Sometimes I turn the lights on to imagine that I am the star of the show and am actually decent at acting. But the stage is such a great place to ponder. It is deserted for one thing, no one is ever there. And it has life. Living, breathing life ingrained in its floorboards and curtains. Just by sitting there you take part in something that has been thousands of years in the making. You become part of something great. Something bigger than you are.

It's my perfect thinking space. It reminds me of everything I am, will be, and once was.

It's where I go now whenever I have a free moment. I just want to get away. This summer has made me into something. I don't know yet what that is, but I hope that I will in time. I feel like I have had a glimpse into my greatest potential and while I am at school, I can never reach it. There is no one there to help me achieve that. But it is high school right? One more year. One more year. That is the mantra that will help me survive.

I honestly think that I am a great oddity for my age. I get the feeling that I am an old soul in a young body. Typically it's the other way around. That merely adds to my differences.

Well, I've got to go.