I finally have things to write about, but its as if they all tried to get out at once and became blocked up somewhere on their flight into existence. Those fleeting little words piled up together can become a force to be reckoned with. Not my words, they are small and insignificant. But words in general can hold such power. To comfort, to hurt, to push away, to pull in. I've done my fair share and more of pushing people away. I'm scared easily.
Surprised? I'd actually like to know what you think on that matter, send me a message about that or something please.
"Heaven knows I've tried to find a cure for the pain". What scares me? Goodbyes, relationships, people who know what I'm doing, etc...oh. and the movie 'Signs'. A friend of mine passed away yesterday, and it has gotten me to think about my life and where I stand with friends and acquaintances. We weren't that close, but I knew him and we've talked about just about everything. We just drifted apart this year, and now he is gone.
Tonight, as I was getting ready for bed and was cleaning up my room, I went into my parents room and picked up the guitar and started playing one of my favorite songs. My little brother yelled "Shut up" from the end of the hallway and that sort of set me off tonight..I was picking up stuff and just crumpled onto the floor. I curled up into a little ball and cried. I couldn't help it. The tears were for my friend who will never live to graduate or experience life after high school, for my lack of general ability in just about everything, and for the world. Everything is twisted. Up is down and black is white, good is evil and vice versa. I've gotten lost in the flipping.
But that will have to be reserved for tomorrow. I'm falling asleep at my computer right now.
Sleep well, I'm going to try to get some shut eye before the long day begins again.
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