Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Cold Nostalgia Chills Me To The Bone

It has been one of those days. I know that it's only the second post, but I'm just going to go right into it.

I've been told that it's because I'm ADD that I get like this. But I fall into these moods where I want nothing more than to be by myself, and left to my own thoughts. Which, as I have discovered, can be dangerous. I hate these nasty sentimental times where I just want to remember. Problem with that is: remembering hurts too much.

So I move on.

And then I get like this again. It's a vicious and endless cycle.

I think that my issue is that I think too much. A redundant sentence, I know. I can't help it. Basically I spend too much time in my own head. Trying to figure something out. Or remember why something happened. I need to take my own advice sometime and pull a John Lennon. "Let it be."

Someone save me from this. Please?

Well, since Prince Charming couldn't make it, I'll continue on about the summer. It'll distract me.

SOO. I'd pretty much lost faith in the human race, or at least just those going through puberty and the teenage years, until this summer. I'm at a high school with a very small number of mormons. And those that go there don't really talk to me unless they have to, at least at school. I run in the theatre crowd, they are sport jocks. You catch my drift. But both Girls Camp and Youth Conference have caused me to rethink that idea. There were so many girls at Greenbriar that I loved to hang out with because we had so much in common! And I could randomly bring up in any conversation: "So what do you think the Celestial Kingdom is going to be like?" And they would know what I was talking about. It was awesome :)

Youth Conference was the same thing. I'd grown up thinking that having an intelligent conversation with a guy was a one in a million thing. But I found so many people that I could talk to effortlessly. It was phenomenal. One thing that I will always remember though, is something that Brenton said. It was right after the women's pull, and we were talking about how glad we were to get up the hill. He said, "That was harder than having to pull it ourselves. It's hard to just walk besides you guys, because we want to help so bad!"

I think the reason I remember that is because I hadn't ever met a guy that actually cared. Sad, I know. But they just don't come like that at Broad Run. It amazed me that there was an actual guy like that. Then I met so many more like him in that way. And it gave me hope. There are people out there that share my ideals and more. Thank you to those people, you know who you are. You've helped me more than you know.


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