Sunday, August 15, 2010

Hello Darkness, my old friend

It's one of those nights that I can't get to sleep, my mind is too busy. I don't know what to think.

It's beautiful outside. Solid eighty degrees w/ a breeze and enough clouds to highlight the moon but you can still see the stars. It's a lover's night. Or a thinker's night, or a dreamer's. It can be whatever it wants to be and won't be thought of differently.

I have had a crazy summer. It has truly been one of the best. I feel much more secure about so many of the good things I do. I have more confidence to be who I am, in my true form. And I feel like I will be accepted for it. It's a very freeing feeling.

But one thing about my summer I wish would happen is ... well ... I don't really want to say it. It's wishful thinking and is probably completely wrong. But, needless to say, my friend Bronwen and I have been wanting to do a double date thing. We have some stuff planned and it would be really fun! My problem is that I don't really have anyone to take. She knows people because she is social and everybody loves her. I'm sort of like that, but not with church people (because those are the people I'd want to bring). I know a lot out here, I'm just not really close enough to any of them to ask if they'd want to go on a date. I did meet one person that I would love to go on a date with, but he isn't here right now. The weird thing is that I feel like I connected with him on a much deeper level than most any person I know. It's weird and I haven't known him that long, but there it is.

Like I said, I can't sleep and I'm hoping that by writing this down, I'll be able to catch some z's tonight. I have this guy here that thinks he knows me...but he really doesn't. We watch the same movies. That's it. And honestly, I become good friends with someone if we have the same music, because music is really important to me. But not movies. Whatevs. And I have this friend that goes on dates with this guy, and I'm jealous. I wish I could do that. But I can't. And there really isn't anyone else out here that I'm interested in. Again, I know this sounds weird, and I'm sorry. You're probably not going to even read this. But if you do, understand that I'm not trying to be creepy. I'm just the kind of person that likes to say these things and hope you don't read this, but secretly I hope you do. Because it's something that I wouldn't say to your face right now. *sigh* this just sounds worse the more I talk.

Point is, I wish I knew you better and that you were here so we could talk. But thank you for everything and best of luck at college(: You can text me anytime! Or call. Haha

No comments:

Post a Comment