Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Into your heart I'll beat again

I've been thinking about what to write for my next post, and I never decided. I'm just going to go and type. We'll see where my mind takes me.

Life has been a little muddled the past few weeks. But I feel as if I'm finally beginning to see with clarity. My life has lined up behind me almost, and even though it isn't going perfectly or anything, it is as though I've learned to cope. So, if you read my last post...I sounded a tad bit conflicted. Well, I continued to follow the advice of a wise friend and continued to accept it and soon enough I was over it. Not over it as in I don't feel like that anymore, but more like I am able to move on and I know I will fully move on soon enough. I don't regret anything I wrote in my last post. It is all true. The only thing is that I acknowledged that nothing was going to ever happen, and I wasn't sure if I wanted it to. I don't even think you've read this. But I'm never sure, you have a funny way of showing things (at least with me). You're aren't talking to me now, okay. Cool...

I'm continuing on with my life. Stop me if you have anything to say. I'm all ears, really.

SO. Now onto the happy part of what I was talking about. It all started in drama. We are doing this massage therapy unit and I actually have considered becoming a massage therapist previously, so I was super interested in this. I've come to reach this deeper level of myself. I think of it almost as a connection of energy between these two people, and it a truly beautiful thing. The spirituality of that, mixed with spring weather and rain, combined with the fact that I am now vegan...equals this new and improved Emily.

I feel more solid, more rooted in who I am. The past couple of entries in my "Book of Thoughts" have been about how happy I am with who I have become. When I was little there was always a certain type of person I looked up to and it makes me so glad to see myself becoming like those people. I am growing into the kind of person I always wanted to be, and it makes my life so much richer to know that it has lined up and I am me. Elemental form.

I don't know how to wrap up these thoughts, but I am tired and want to go to bed. So I shall leave you with this.

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